Who Am I? - keeping it real and discovering yourself

Rule #3 is....Socrates said, "Know thyself." Marty says, "If you're not the real you, when the real you emerges, the deal is blown."

As a single, you make the decisions that affect everything you do - where and when you eat, what movie to see, what time, who you choose to be friendly with, where and when to vacation. Those choices are made by you with your own tastes, schedule and desires in mind. However, as part of a couple, if you want to keep the peace, you very often have to defer to the wants and needs of your partner.

Keep it real

When singles fill out a dating profile form, many people distort or tweak the truth. They think, "I'll write what the opposite sex wants to hear rather than desplay the real me. Besides, everyone else does it." As I mentioned above, when the real you is exposed, the deal is blown! So why waste your time as well as the time of those who you meet, interview and possibly date? "So you love to play golf and tennis?" Let's go to my club this weekend. They have a couples golf and tennis outing." Outing is the operative word. You're outed and you've wasted everybody's time. If as many men really loved to walk on the beach at midnight as say they do, the police would need to set up crowd control lines.

People lie about their age, the age of the photo they submit, their height, weight and marital status. Please, please, please - tell the truth! Be honest, candid and funny. It will be better for you in the long run.

Discover yourself

Most of us are creatures of habit. We have living patterns. We usually wake at the same time, prefer to eat the same things, and eat those meals at the same time, watch the same TV shows, dress the same way, associate with the same people, live in the same house, town, area, or state without ever thinking about redecorating or even moving. We keep the same job in the same pigeonbole cubicle, drive the same car, wear the same watch, all the while admiring others who "do" or "change" things.

I'm not talking about winning the lottery and being able to afford to make major changes. Start slowly. Rule #4 is .... Change your way of thinking. Try to think outside the box. Try to change something everyday. Wake up a few minutes earlier, lie down on the floor and stretch for a few minutes. Change the cereal you have had for breakfast since childhood. Go to the library or get on the Internet and investigate new places to travel to on your vacation. What interests you?

You must have some curiosity about something. Look into it. The rewards of learning can be mind-blowing. You get the idea. Rule #5 is .....Coustantly think about change. Drink Coke? Try Pepso. You'll be amazed at how interesting you'll become by experimenting with new things. You'll actually start a love affair with yourself. C'mon, start walking. It's great exercise, you'll lose weight and you'll learn more about what's going on in your neighborhood. Ask a person you've always admired to lunch, take flying lessons, go whitewater rafting. Any hot air balloon rides nearby? Check your local paper for upcoming club meetings, then try one. You may like it. You certainly will meet new people. Repaint one wall in your home your favorite color Cancel magazines you really don't read or subscribe to The Week and you can get rid of most of them. Call or visit a family member or an old friend or acquaintance you like, but haven't called in a while. Rule #6 is .....Do the Jumble in the morning paper and watch Jeopardy at night. You'll expand your mind and may just fight off Alzheimer's.

Rule #7 is....Learn new jokes. Tell them right away, even if it's just to your mirror, and they'll be stored in your mind's joke library for future recall when someone reminds you of the subject matter. Once you tell it, you own it; it's only a small matter of connecting hte brain synapse. Rule #8 is ...Turn into an entrepreneur. What product or service is needed? Write your own business plan. Simple at first, one paragraph describing the idea will do, then refine it, expand it, talk to trusted friends, network and maybe you can turn it into a real business. Look for people with similar ideas and tastes. Go to a museum. Expand your options and you'll expand your mind. I guarantee you'll fall in love with the new you.